Naked Truth Trilogy
The Naked Truth Part I
When I was first married, my husband and I decided the best way to avoid holiday conflicts was to visit each family once a year. His family for Easter--mine for Christmas one year, then switch. That left Thanksgiving, and, rather than cause problems, we went out of the country, so nobody would have bad feelings (and wed get a much-deserved rest).
In those days, Club Med was the hottest thing going, so we did just that. One year was spent in Martiniquewell-known for guests somewhat risque behavior. Being less forward than most guests, we dared to bare on the nude beach. I went topless and my husband dropped trou. I was initially uncomfortable because it was shallow for such a distance and it took some time to get out far enough to swim under. My husband was on his first wade out when a guy came up to him, both men knee-deep in clear calm water, naked as jaybirds, and said, Hey, arent you an OConnor?!! Apparently this guy recognized my husbands FACE, since hed played poker with him once in high school!
Small world; little consolation for privacy.
The Naked Truth Part II
Same beach, way different scene! A pretty woman in her thirties was having the time of her lifedrinking, baring it all and flirting to excess. Several times we heard her remark rather drunkenly, I can do whatever I wantnobody here knows me!! I guess it became her motto, as she was frequently seen in various states of disrobe, sobriety and with an assortment of guys.
She certainly was getting her moneys worth of entertainment (watching her for a week provided plenty for usshe was everywhere!)
When it came time to leave, we were herded onto the transfer bus to return to the States. She had a few more drinks on the bus, a few at the airport and a few on the planeshe eventually stopped saying nobody knows me and fell asleep. We were glad to see her finally stop partying and rest in peace.
We got our bags and laughed about her, then got into the limo to go home to Connecticut. About 5 minutes later the limo door openedthere she was!!! She would be riding several hours with us to our MUTUAL destination. Weve all seen the color of embarrassment, right? That red flush with bright pink ears!! She pretended she didnt recognize usthen she realized out we LIVED RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM HER!! The color in her face changed from pale to paler!!
So much for anonymity.
The Naked Truth Part III
No kiddinganother beach story!! Years laterclothing-optional Orient Bay, St. Martin, a frequent haunt for my future husband and me. We were both in swimsuits, sitting at our favorite beach bar, Five Continents, lounging with Roy, the guy who works there. Such a people watch-- locals in full tans mixing with the cruise guys with pink hineys who were trying to look cool while ogling women. We saw a guy walking toward ushe had a pretty young woman in hand and they were both naked. He was in his 70's and seemed to be VERY proud of all his assets!!
I did a double-take, my husband did a double-take and Roy started wildly chatting in French with the guy who rents wave-runners (neither of us speak the language). I was trying NOT to stare at the old guy when I heard Roy--je vous something something avec shwa shwa nous yadda yadda yadda...ANACONDA MAN...
My husband and I burst out laughing JUST as they passed. Did we ever get a LOOK from them!! We nearly fell out of our chairs and wished we could hide in the sand! Roy was howling with laughter while half-heartedly trying to apologize to the locals. They were not amused.
But we were.