Zoetry Curacao Resort & Spa

Mold, ants, slow service, staff that can’t get food or room service orders correct, and management that’s needs you fight them to do the bare minimum in addressing your issues.

Please note this review is simply my own opinion based on my travels and other resorts that I have previously stayed at… Friday Day 1: Arrived Friday afternoon and we were greeted with a ‘Welcome Home’, which I did not appreciate as I paid a lot of money to be somewhere else. If I wanted to be home, I would’ve stayed there. While it is off season the resort was quite empty upon our arrival. The concierge Janae was extremely kind, knowledgeable, as she helped navigate our way to the room explaining the various areas as we went. A few items were missing from the room, bathrobe, slippers, etc but one call rectified that situation. The room is large and away from the pool so the peace and quiet was appreciated. The lighting is a little awkward, no separate switches for bathroom and shower. Terrible overhead lighting for woman to apply make up. The makeup mirror light did not work. The power outlets are few and not easily accessible. Why is there no fitted sheet on the bed? The shower is pretty phenomenal but confusing. Quite large enough for a few people to use at once. No place to put luggage while unpacking. It is quite humid here, different than Aruba and there’s a lot more lush vegetation, tall palm trees, iguanas and the pool is shallow but nice. As we arrived hungry, dinner was at Bloom Restaurant. Dinner was different, my sweet potato ceviche was good but incredibly small and the crispy mushrooms were like crack, extremely tasty. Charissa’s fillet mignon was good. She ate the whole thing plus the mashed potatoes. I had some type of seafood stew which was tasty but lacking seafood. Due to our long travel day we retired early after walking around the compound a little bit to try to get our bearings which did not help. Saturday Day 2: It seems most of the action is at the Dreams resort which is right on the beach or Il Mare. Dreams resort is crowded, noisy and full of signs with many rules to follow. Man made beaches so less sand more shells and other matter. Il Mare is supposed to be an adult only resort but there are no kids (thankfully) at Zoetry. We have access to all three resorts. These other resorts are accessible by golf cart…I awoke early, went for a walk and saw no one. The place seems to be quite deserted. Nothing to do until the restaurants open at 7 am. No place to get coffee or a snack. Used the fitness room this morning, which is small but adequate. Mostly machines, there were some free weights and kettle bells. There is unfortunately no buffet here. That was kind of my dream, to eat without having to decide on anything. Breakfast started off poorly, the coffee was bitter and so was the 2nd cup from the machine. Perhaps not used to it as I did not enjoy the coffee that I purchased in Aruba either. The egg Benedict was all right, but not hot and only one egg and one English muffin. I do know that regular servings are two. While I can order more, service is island time which disrupts the flow of eating. So we have eaten twice at Bloom restaurant and I would not rate it very high… we did meet a very nice bartender last night by the name of Jason who imparted much of his knowledge about things to do and where to go. He even made a reservation for a restaurant in town on our behalf. His shifts saw most people standing around drinking and conversing. He sets a nice atmosphere. At the moment, we are by the pool and there is nobody here. Spent entire day just floating, hugging and kissing. Lunch by the pool was small bites, Charissa enjoyed her Dutch croquettes while I had spring rolls and watermelon with feta, good stuff. As we had a meeting with our tour rep at Dreams, we went early to check out the place…noisy with children and loud music reminiscent of the Mexico resort…the beach was small and crowded. We tried the best restaurant in Dreams, Oceania which did not rank high. The shrimp tacos were amazing, large juicy, had to order two as for some reason portions are tiny here. Can’t recall a time at an all inclusive where I have been hungry…fish soup was not hot. While our appetizers came quickly, it wasn’t until one hour had passed where I needed to remind the maître d, that we were still awaiting our entree which when came was disappointing…Left without tipping and felt good about it. Returned to Zoetry to shoot some tequila, walk off our meal and retire early as we are such nighthawks. Sunday Day 3: Using the gym here just to feel my body…breakfast was at Il Mare, decent and tasty. Things are different and we need to adjust our taste buds accordingly. Finding the coffee a little bitter. Il Mare is interesting, pods placed along the waterfront, no beach access unless you walk and that was disappointing as well. No shade, rough beachfront, dredging that area would increase the value of having a beach. At breakfast a kind woman showed us her pod which was perfect for two people. Would consider staying there but no tree cover. Everything is open to the sun. Lovely infinity pool but too hot. Walked over to Dreams again to check out the buffet which should come with a salmonella warning. Meat and cheeses lying out with no cover, birds eating the granola, runny eggs, overcooked bacon just a disaster . Walked back to the resort and hanging by the pool….met a lovely woman named Mildred who was working a leaf blower by the pool. I asked her to stop as it was noisy and if people were offended by leaves falling from trees they should visit a desert instead. N.B. Had to complain three times regarding issues in the room before anything was done. This is not acceptable at a 4 diamond rated resort…no chairs to sit outside on the patio and the fan doesn’t work. So the chairs have been placed but told the fan will never work. Sure there were other rooms available that we could have been given. Met a nice man and his wife from Chicago with whom we also travelled to the Carrefour, which is a huge shopping complex not far from the resort. Unfortunately every time you leave the resort in a taxi it is a minimum $20 charge even though we only went four minutes away. A bit of a scam. The supermarket was enormous with lots of interesting products from all over the world. The mall had activities for kids and too big to see in one visit. Good for buying chatkas (souvenirs)… Dinner was at Il Mare and it was delicious… fresh seafood well done just the best meal so far… afterwards we walked over to Dreams resort again and participated in the karaoke event. Good fun. Have started to walk back from the other resorts to Zoetry. We went for a late night swim and since the pool is kind of empty during the day, there was absolutely no one around at night. It was lovely to be in the water alone, looking at the stars. Monday Day 4: Breakfast again at Il Mare and they seem to like to burn the bottom of the egg dishes. That has happened two days in a row… tried two different types of juices on two different days and they both tasted the same just different colours. Have not found front desk staff to be very helpful except Janae whom upon her return to work quickly arranged a tour for us. When I first asked for help to book a tour, I was sent to Dreams and Amstaad tours. This was going to be expensive and all day excursion. Upon returning to the resort, Janae got on the computer, found an amazing package for less money and a better timeframe…why couldn’t someone else have done this? Dinner at the Crafty Iguana to try something different but wasn’t worth the effort. Frozen empanadas that are tough with little beef, unfortunately I ordered two. Soggy salads difficult to determine what they were. Small rack of ribs which should slide off the bone but didn’t. Not so tenderloin for Charissa. So we walked over to Il Mare to eat again. Consistency is the key to a good restaurant and while Il Mare is the best, consistency is lacking. First night, bread with cream cheese and garlic mayo, second night nothing…why don’t the servers use trays for food and drinks rather than balancing the orders from kitchen to table? Early night again. Tuesday Day 5: Please update the toaster in the Bloom restaurant…frozen premade hash browns not tasty…so back to Il Mare for breakfast which was not as tasty as the first time but with lack of choices will need to return. First time the bagel was toasted today not. Bacon here is cooked well done almost charcoal black, I ate it anyway. Met the general manager, an extremely kind man who inquired about our stay. Made a few comments and told him that I would email my review. Couldn’t really understand the woman at the front desk and walked away with more little blue bottles. Back at the pool for more relaxing….lunch at the pool, Zoetry burger a smash hit. We were offered a special dinner in compensation for some of the bitching that I have been doing and last night we were treated to an exceptionally tasty lobster tail dinner with roasted vegetables, potatoes, fresh salads, and tiramisu for dessert. We brought the bottle of champagne from our room but Fernando, who is an exceptional host exchanged our warm bottle for a nice cold one… service was prompt, and I thanked Fernando on our way out. We went over to Dreams for some entertainment, and caught the end of the event, good singers and while most of the songs were in Spanish, lots of people were singing along. Have been spending the late afternoons at the infinity pool at Il Mare…great for suntanning and sipping drinks. Romke is a very attentive employee. Music could be tuned to the crowd as endless thumping bass and rap is not always appropriate. Another early evening as we are planning to snorkel tomorrow… Wednesday Day 6: The alarm at 6:15 was not kind to Charissa, nor were the cockroaches that she freaked out at. They are as the general manager said, a part of the vegetation, and there is little if nothing to do as they do occasionally spray, but that does little good. Met an extremely kind housekeeper, her name is Janneth, she approaches her work with a smile, a song and really enjoyed Charissa's difficulty dealing with Cockroaches and made her feel better about the whole situation. We found a few stray cats that we have started to feed because that’s what you do when you find a cat. Little kittens actually. We were picked up at 8:30 by Michelangelo from Irie Tours and he proceeded to talk about the areas we were driving through to have some context of the island, very helpful. Got on a boat with about 14 or so people. The waves were really choppy getting out onto the sea but the snorkelling was amazing. Just to see the many colourful fish and the lovely corals in two different locations. We had a BBQ lunch of hotdogs, beef and chicken skewers with salads. It was really nice. Also meeting lovely people which we have been doing quite a lot of here and listening to their stories. The night’s dinner was a Caribbean festival and it wasn’t bad. We actually didn’t have to go to Il Mare as a back up… we have been drinking Patron tequila here as it is too expensive for my pocket… Thursday Day 7: Breakfast at Il Mare for a change, but since the menu doesn’t, it is getting repetitive. We are heading into town today after lunch. We spent some of the afternoon in Willemstad, got to take pictures of the many colourful buildings, purchase a few souvenirs, have a bite and head back to the resort. The resort grounds are beautiful, very lush opulent, the pool is delightful as is the hot tub. Again the Botanica restaurant by the pool is convenient but not consistent. French fries are to be golden brown and hot, not limp and white as is the general serving method here. Went to Il Mare for dinner because we had had such an amazing dinner twice before only to be extremely disappointed. Unfortunately it was a new cook and she was not good. The fish was served upside down skin side up, the potatoes were a mash of lumpy indigestible something, the vegetables were not cooked and it was just a disgusting experience to have for our last supper. I had been recommending Il Mari restaurant very highly to all the newcomers and I feel embarrassed. Another couple told us that they were waiting 20 minutes for a server and then simply decided to leave. We ate our fish for protein but nothing else and left after complaining to whomever may or may not give a care. To be honest, I am tired of complaining… We tried the Italian restaurant and although there were many empty tables, we were told there would be a 20 minute wait. As other couples did not review this restaurant highly we decided not to wait for more bad food. We came back to the resort and asked the front desk which restaurants were open. I was told the Botanica by the pool but when I got here it was not. We then went back to Bloom the only place open at that time for decent mushroom risotto, curry and vegetables. Too bad our last night was not spectacular. Friday Day 8: Breakfast this morning at Il Mare was good. This is nice since it is our last breakfast. The unfortunate thing about this place is that consistency is non existent. Overall this resort is pretty if you are looking for chill, a lovely pool area, reasonable small bites in the afternoon. great filet mignon, amazing crispy mushrooms which run out fast. We met so many nice people of all ages, from all countries and enjoyed these moments. I could be ready for a career change, if anyone at Hyatt Hotels is interested in improving this facility or others, I could be your next quality control person.6/10…while we did have a relaxing time and would return to Curacao, not to this particular resort.

I had a great time at Zoetry. The workers were soooo amazing. Ms. Kerry, Ravion the activities manager, Christopher and Jason the bartenders were the BEST!!

At Zoëtry now - there is a concert currently playing until 2 in the morning that is blaring. Even white noise in our room can’t drown it out, our room is shaking. If they are having any event at that concert venue during your stay, avoid at all costs!! Additionally, we were getting a golf cart to dreams to go to portofino for dinner since bloom was closed, so first wanted to check portofino was open and the person working the front desk said she didn’t know, makes it super hard to show up someplace open when the hotel itself doesn’t even know what’s open! portofino ending up having over an hour wait and so did oceana and the only other option was a buffet. This is wild after we were told no reservations needed for any place or even accepted. I can’t understand why an all inclusive wouldn’t have enough spots to accommodate their guests. Eating dinner after 9 pm is insane. Also portions were tiny. It also took forever to get golf carts between resorts, could never find any hotel employee around. Bar service was somehow even slower than getting a golf cart. Know that they advertise a 20 minute free spa treatment per guest per stay, it’s just their sauna/hot tub/or steam room, all of which are not pregnancy safe so i could not participate. There is also essentially no beach service, you have to walk up to the bar and they’re slammed. AC is either broken or capped, had it at 19 deg C and it was still hot. This is all just in day 1 sooo can definitely say if you haven’t already booked it, it is not worth your hard earned money.

Just returned from a brief getaway. Before I write my review I will say that despite some missteps, we will definitely return. Pros: Beautiful property. There was usually a friendly worker maintaining the grounds during our stay. We stayed in a ground floor Master Suite w/Pool View and the room a/c was phenomenal (I had to use the extra blanket because I was nice and cold during the night). The bed was the most comfortable I've ever slept in! Friendly staff, especially Janae at the concierge desk, as well as Antonell, Ration, Chris and Jason (lobby bar) and Latoya at the pool bar is hysterical. We loved the convenience of taking the golf cart to Il Mare/Dreams and spent a lot of time over there (but the drinks are better at Zoetry than Il Mare lol Food was phenomenal, even though we ate most of our meals at Il Battelino at Il Mare. Cons: we arrived at 2:15, but our room wasn't ready until close to 5pm. At 230 we were advised to have lunch and it would be ready in an hour. When we got back the timeline was pushed twice. I joked that the guests staying before us must have had a wild party, but I was a little annoyed. When we got to our room I noticed there was no sparkling wine, fresh fruit or the souvenir beach bag. Was told they would get the first two and the beach bags were on back order. No big deal. We never received our sparkling wine or fresh fruit during our stay despite trying to be nice about it and remind them. I finally gave up. Breakfast service was also hit or and orders were forgotten, etc while other tables received better service. Maybe our room number was cursed? As mentioned earlier we will definitely return to the resort for a longer stay. Hopefully they will take the negatives into consideration and make the necessary adjustments.