The Mitre Hampton Court

My wife and I stayed here last night. Right across from Hampton Palace. Lovely hotel. Our room was very large - bathroom too! Lots of room to spread out. Bath tube is slippery if showering. Convenient for us hiking the Thames Path. The staff were very friendly and helpful!

The 5 star Mitre has a brasserie. You’d think that the very basic and strangely limited food it serves would be edible. Think again. Crab crumpets: over-spicy mayo with a bit of something that was supposed to be crab mixed in it but you couldn’t tell or taste it as it was 50% mayo. Served on a very cold and old UNCOOKED/ UNTOASTED crumpet! When we pointed out the crumpet was raw and ice cold we were told we could order something else. So this must be the norm. Truly disgusting. Sent back. Calamari: these were rubber bullets, rock hard on the outside, coated in dark, overcooked batter instead of being dipped in flour. And they were cold. However, even these two dishes did not prepare us for the worst fish and chips in history. This was a sliver of fish fried in so much batter that the inside of the batter was actually uncooked. The ratio of fish to batter was about 1 to 5. See the photos. The shots of the cream coloured stuff on the inside of the shell is not bits of fish it’s all raw batter. The chips were industrial frozen whose insides were weirdly tasteless mush. The very sweet waiter was apologetic. He took the crumpet and fish off the bill. He also offered us a dessert on the house so we ordered the rhubarb tart with custard. Oh my god! This was an inedible horror which must have been made by a 5 year old…from a different planet. See the photos. The much too thick “pastry” had been frozen after cooking so was soggy and tasteless. The 4 miniscule bits of rhubarb consisted of 2 things. First, apparently raw dark red to almost black rhubarb which must have been soaked in sugar and dark red food colouring (why?) to offset the crunch and the sourness. Second, some bright gel/syrup which tasted of the sugary food colouring syrup they squirt over ice cream cones from an ice cream van. And the “custard” in the tart was a minuscule amount of something which had zero taste. See the photos. Another worst dessert of all time. How can a decent hotel employ chefs who seemingly learnt their trade in a prison kitchen in an ICE facility? On the positive side all the staff were lovely and our room overlooking the river was fantastic. Just get a decent chef in who can cook edible food asap. The fact that the management haven’t noticed that none of the kitchen staff know crumpets have to be toasted, crispy on the outside and served warm is unnerving. Marks out of 10: Brasserie 0; Hotel and staff 9.

Well got off a long flight 14 hours , well I thought I’d just ring first ! Didn’t even get as far as the person who ever answered the phone ! Hello broken English ! I need a room for myself and small dog ‘? What booking site ? Not booking site am calling you you picked up the phone !! You said you take Small dog on you web site £260.00 they lost in one call ! Don’t forget a bad review goes a long way ! Wow I seriously suggest, you get better staff to Answer the f…kin phone !! 4.45 in the morning just need sleep can’t drive home hate Ubers in Not a Fan of the call to pray at 4 in the morning thanks !

We stayed here for bank holiday break and were not disappointed. The service is excellent and the staff are clearly well trained, supported and professional. Food in the restaurant is superb with an extensive wine list. The view on the terrace is gorgeous. Our room (upgraded to Royal) was spatious and well equipped. There is no a/c which in heat wave was a disadvantage but they did have a fan and we adapted! Breakfast is served in a beautiful setting with the service as good as all other areas. Such a wonderful setting for visiting Hampton Court Palace and we took full advantage of the closeness of Bushy Park for morning runs. We loved it so much that we extended our stay and we will return.

We booked the Mitre as we were going to a special birthday lunch in the Little Banqueting House in the grounds of Hampton Court Palace. I stayed at the Mitre with my husband 8 years ago for a similar birthday treat in the Palace, but the hotel needed a fortune spent on it as the rooms were very tired and it wasn't cheap then. I had read that the Mitre had been sold and several million pounds had been invested in upgrading it and having been widowed two years ago, I thought it would be lovely to return with a good friend who was also invited to the party. We knew parking was difficult, but on arrival I managed to squeeze into a small space and the concierge, Blaize was very helpful. We checked in, but it was too early to go to our room, (101, Writers Corner), so we went off to the Palace and didn't return until late afternoon. On entering our room I was quite shocked. It looked just as tired as on my last visit, maybe the distressed battered looking old bedside table was actually very expensive, along with all the other furniture and fittings, but to us it just looked grotty and at the full price of £390 for b&b, I couldn't believe it. The bathroom had only one small shelf where the hand wash/lotion/shampoo etc was placed, and there was a small hook on the door holding the bathrobes (no slippers). The basin was tiny and the water in the morning was only luke warm. I was looking forward to a cup of tea and there was a small milk bottle in the fridge that I assumed was fresh milk. No, it was long life which I hate, so why was it in the fridge? Lighting was poor, (to be fair, too many hotels have useless lights by the bed), which make reading in bed difficult. In the morning my friend, on opening the curtains discovered several moths, not good. Breakfast was OK, the staff were helpful, but the choices were only what you would expect in a reasonably cheap hotel, sadly I was expecting a more upmarket experience. Also, whenever I see a push button coffee machine rather than a proper gaggia method of making coffee I know it won't be as good. I appreciate that many people are quite satisfied with pushing buttons, but my latte was only warm and quickly went cold. The scrambled eggs on sourdough were fine, but I should have thought to ask for the smoked salmon to be on the side rather than have scrambled eggs piled on top, which to me is a waste of good smoked salmon, again maybe I'm just being picky. Anyway, in conclusion, the hotel is in a wonderful location and at the rates they charge should be a gold mine from visitors to the Palace, which is, of course the big draw. It is a lovely historic building with an interesting library and other quirky features. For us however, we did not feel it gave us the experience we were expecting for the price we paid. I appreciate it is reasonably close to London and the price of London hotel rooms has now rocketed to be out of most people's price bracket. We have stayed in many 5 star hotels that have offered us much more at a lower cost, so I'm afraid we will not return.