Hesperia Lanzarote

Reading some reviews I feel like I must have stayed at a different hotel. This certainly was not the 5* experience I was expecting. I have stayed at Secrets in the Dominican Republic which was amazing. Sadly Lanzarote in my opinion doesn’t come close. Positives first: Star of the staff is Sonia Guitierrez, Director of Operations who saved what was edging on a disastrous holiday. I thank her for her efforts. She would be an asset to any 5* hotel. A friendly, efficient welcome and check in. The hotel had been decorated with lovely Christmas lights and trees. Sadly that’s all the positives. Negatives: Rooms are tired and in need of renovation. We had a sea view which was nice but the room was very dated, Towels were threadbare. The food is at best 3*. We were upgraded to the “Preferred Club” as we complained regarding only being able to eat in the buffet for breakfast and lunch. Whoever came up with the “Preferred Club” marketing strategy should be shot. It straight away alienates all other guests. The hotel, has zero atmosphere and very weak and repetitive entertainment. No special entertainment for Christmas. On Christmas night they had Bollywood Dancing for an hour 🙄 Service in the bar was excruciatingly slow and around the pool service was almost zero. Restaurant service in Portofino was very slow and the food quality poor. The pools are not heated and only a few were brave enough to venture in. The hotel was clearly very under occupied and still could not bring service to an acceptable level. Secrets Lanzarote, I wanted to love you but you need to up your game!

For a hotel with so many rave reviews I am sorry to differ. If there are any guests that can open the butter within 60 seconds, congratulations. I imagine that the Procurement Director was congratulated for shaving one tenth of a Euro off the price. Said director I suspect was also responsible for the bath towels. Do they do the job of drying? Yes, but do they in any way represent luxury, no. Similarly, a decision also in the bathroom, but here by the architects, where the shower cubicle is narrow and long where I am not. Hair washing was clearly not part of the test and the safety grab handle is far more likely to cause an accident by jabbing you coldly in the kidneys than saving a fall. I do not know which of the Procurement director or the architect would have decided on the design of the sun shades but again they are not great at their function. They are immovable and with such a small diameter as to mean that getting any shade to fall where the sunbed is, is a challenge. The food is good, but it may be indicative that the most enjoyable evening meal was in the Bluewater grill, where as I cooked on the charcoal grill the speed of service was dictated by me. Oceana has lovely, stylish food but the service sets out to be only efficient and fast when I am sure every guest wants an experience. Take an extra thirty minutes, none of us have appointments or pressures. We're here to relax. Breakfast is good, but sad that the honey is in another difficult-to-open packet rather that comb. Lunch in the World Cafe is excellent, fish cooked beautifully and great selection of salads. Coco, the coffee bar, also scores well with good service and milkshakes. The layout of the main entertainment area is strange, with too many conference style chairs, in my opinion designed to bring pain after an hour, set out, not to promote conversation but to face the stage. Again I suspect that these too are a function of cost control. Why have conference chairs and lounge chairs when they will only be sat on for an average of an hour or so a day? The drinks service in the evenings is slow but friendly. The local port has great boats to look at but sadly nearly all of the shops are permanently closed. The entertainment has been good by a large but the penny pinching and efficiency have won out over fun. I can recall the faces, and in some cases names, of team members at hotels, visited over the past fifteen years, because they interacted as humans. At Secrets Lanzarote there is efficient service but no-one stands out, which is shame. Get Outlook for Android

Lovely hotel with very friendly and helpful staff.The situation was excellent and Puerto de Calero with its wide variety of restaurants and bars was only a short walk away.We were able to swim in sea so did not use hotel pools though looked well maintained. Our room was very comfortable with excellent beds and shower.We particularly liked Oceana restaurant. Breakfast was somewhat overwhelming with too much choice and I think could be limited to continental with freshly cooked eggs.Bar area comfortable and friendly and price and variety of drinks good.Entertainment was varied though I think many residents would liked to have area where could dance We made good use of tennis court (surface abit uneven) and would have liked to use Padel court but only there as couple We had a lovely stress free break

Spent Christmas week at this hotel, first class staff made our stay wonderful with special mention of Carla who went the extra mile. Accommodation, facilties and food excellent, will return for a third visit soon

2nd visit for Xmas based on a wonderful experience the year before. Sadly a little disappointed due to ‘cost saving’…….No visit from Santa, no T-shirts, no improvements on the service in the Portafino restaurant - 30mins after being seated before being served a drink and over 2hrs to complete the meal. Bluewater Grill always much more organised and pleasant experience. However, we must reiterate the food remains excellent which is the saving grace. This year was also tainted by a few guests having the time of their lives (absolutely allowed) but not being respectful of other guests wishing for a more respectful experience. Drunken rowdy behaviour is generally not the ambiance the hotel prides itself with and sadly there were no staff members confident enough to deal with them. It’s such a shame that we felt like this, will need to think about the next visit.